义无返顾的向前跑

像这样走下去，也没什么好写了。

难道文字的灵感也可以随著感情的淡化，渐渐的遗忘？

原来放纵了感情以后，剩下的只是在宁静不过的宁静了。

一切彷彿归零，沉默也是为了相信回到原点才能有最美丽的结局。

 

 

Back to school…

While I stood before a silent classroom this morning, all I could think of was how the tables have turned. 

I had the pleasure of being in school for the past 22 and a half years. Yes, I went to play school at the age of 18 months and only recently graduated from school. Less than 3 months later, I am back in school but standing in front of the class looking back at 40 pairs of eyes who wonder what the heck they are doing in school.

It wasn’t too long ago I had the same question and yet today I stand before them trying to ensure that their young minds understand their responsibility as a student.

I think I panicked a little. I must have since I stopped to wonder if I would ever be able to step up to the plate and take on my new set of responsibilities. Just so you know, I haven’t really been doing much at work. Mostly it involved trying to pretend having some sort of authority when I know that all would be given back to the regular who had gone to serve the nation. So I sit quietly at my desk, trying to digest my new Murakami book and listening to my trusty old first generation video ipod. The nothingness has made me all the more thoughtful of just how difficult and tiring this job is. I’ve been told to appreciate just sitting there but I just wish I could give a little more. 

And then once again I wonder, would I be able to be a good teacher?

So the tables have turned. While I was invigilating a class today, that was all I could think of. No matter how noisy, rowdy or cheeky these kids are, I have chosen to be the person standing in front of them. While I wavered because of other options, I am also reminded of how I have to stay firm in my decision or I will not find joy in anything I do. But I do think that this is sort of a “homecoming” for me though. I always knew I would teach, it just came a little sooner than expected but I’m ready for it.

So as cliche as it sounds, bring. it. on.

在乌来写的字

 

有时候放弃也是一种执著。把手放开，不是你的就不是你的。人生的道路虽长，也不需因“他”而忘了凭感觉的那一刹那。

我知道你做得到，所以请你打开心房，这一次真的让他如漂流的河水，就这样流到迷茫的大海中，随著浪花，渐渐沉落海底。一切就竟在不言中。

我很喜欢你，可是我不能因为你而哭。

再见了先生，再见了。

这次真的不能回头看了。因为想像的真的真的只是幻影，只是记忆中不想忘掉的你。你早已不是那个人了。虽然“你的背影是我最美丽的所有”，可是我会学著活在没有你的世界。我不需要你的“對不起”，因為海闊天空，烏雲過後，還是有另一片藍天。

我也不该为你而存在。